How so many of us will spend our entire lives grieving not only the loss of our childhood, but the loss of what we could have been. They write about the experience of growing up in a South Asian culture: THEY WILL TRY THEIR BEST TO DESTROY YOU AND CALL IT LOVE and it evades accountability.Īnd now the part that hit closest to home: I wish i could “love myself ” out of systemic oppression. your bias is your personal problem, but it is my personal experience. They will forget you, you will never forget them. the more honest i am the more lonely i am.”īeauty is fabulosity is weirdness is undesirability. the more feminine i am the less desirable i am. The more visible i am the more invisible i am. is who gets taken home and who is left alone. “the difference between “gender” and “sexuality” is a fiction let’s be more specific: is a love story. it means people point and mock and take your pictures without your consent. beautiful on the internet means weird in real life. I am reminded of Grace Neutral’s video about the ‘ beauty revolution’ in Brazil - a person being interviewed said people like us are beautiful on the internet. “i have come to the conclusion then, that the only place i am allowed to exist is a photograph…EXHIBIT B: HOW INSPIRATIONAL! (read: i would never)” i have etched myself so deep inside, they will never forget me.Įrasure = visibility = hyper-visibility = alienation and othering from one’s self = invisibility i have shed every category, word, and lie. “but i have stopped traffic simply by going outside. Alok’s writing is harrowing and somehow full of optimism. ( this is obviously not an advertisement) below are some notes i made while reading the 35-page long chapbook:įemme in Public is likely the best book I’ve read this year. Femme in Public is available as a digital download for USD 6 on Alok’s website.

Femme in Public by Alok Vaid-Menon